


(with emptycold hands) i reach for you

by Bonnie_Bug



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (slaps the roof of crowley) this demon can fit so much pining in him, M/M, Poetry, which I am delighted to use as a tag TWICE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26198635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonnie_Bug/pseuds/Bonnie_Bug
Summary: does your light still burn for me?or has it died long agoand i am merely gazing at echoes
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	(with emptycold hands) i reach for you

**Author's Note:**

> yeah baby we’re back with stealth gomens poetry !
> 
> also I’ve literally only posted poems for gomens so far and 2/3 of them are stealthy enough I could share them as original poetry and ppl would be none the wiser kdbdkdjdk love that

i reach for you and the starglow slips through my fingers  
you are so near but so far  
my heart beats in time with your name  
and my clenchedtight eyes are painted with your face

does your light still burn for me?  
or has it died long ago  
and i am merely gazing at echoes  
i could have sworn it was fresh and new  
lifegiving as the sun  
but now i wonder if i’m just imagining the warmth

i know i cannot touch you  
but i reach for you regardless  
grasping emptyfingered at the void between  
it is so very dark and vast  
but on clear nights i feel as though you are mere inches from my palms  
close enough to brush  
(and on cloudy nights)  
( )  
(i do not dwell on cloudy nights)

i look at you  
and i have to wrestle with my knowledge  
the parallax of heart and mind  
a dissonant chord that sets my teeth aching  
two visions of the truth  
you are more than pinprick starlight  
you are fire and strength and warforged will  
a power that could burn me away  
but you are also more than war and flame  
you are light and warmth and life  
a gentle glow to map me home  
neither of these statements are wrong  
nor are they wholly true  
they are a part of your encompassing whole  
(you are vast)  
(you contain multitudes)  
(you are a constellation unto your own)

like the everchanging sky  
so too do you change  
and like the everchanging sky  
so too does your change happen over lifetimes  
and yet you remain the same everstill  
looking back i can track the changes  
only with longago hindsight can i divine the patterns

you are warmer, now  
you are brighter, now  
you are freer, now  
but if you had asked me  
i would have said this is how you always have been  
and always will be  
you have always been warm  
you have always been bright  
(you have never been free)  
(not how you deserve)  
(even stars are chained to gravity)  
(but you have grown more free)  
(as free as you could be)  
(without a drastic, devastating change to the fundamental laws of the universe)  
and yet in the perfect clarity of past  
i can see your growth and change

and yet  
you have always remained the same at heart  
warm  
bright  
gentle  
kind  
all light has to end one day  
the darknight sky claims us all in the end  
but i foolishly hope your light never will  
that you will shine on for eternity  
and for an eternity after that

and maybe

if i’m lucky

if i’m very, very lucky

i will be there still

reaching out for you

and cupping your starlight in my palms

  


  



End file.
